Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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