he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize