The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
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She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
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How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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