I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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