Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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