Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Sorry about my life...
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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