i was born a porn star she said
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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