The best revenge is premature balding
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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