i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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