she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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