wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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