Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize