Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
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My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
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Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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