i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize