I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
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drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
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I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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