There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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