Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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