Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
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