i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize