I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
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So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
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I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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