Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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