You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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