You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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