I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize