She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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