you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize