In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
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