it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
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This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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