I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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