Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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