So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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