I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize