I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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