Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
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There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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