what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
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I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
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there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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