People with herpes should wear stickers.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
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You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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