I'll bet she douches with gravy.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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