i was born a porn star she said
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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