I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize