Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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