I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
as a side note pls kill me
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