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The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
There r osticjed everywhere
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Randomize
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