Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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