she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Farmville is her only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize