When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you will always have a special place in my vag
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize