Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
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How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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