dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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