you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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