Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize