I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
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Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
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How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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